I realized tonight I have decided in my brain my fate is not intertwined with A’s. It took me time, and I have known and forgotten and will forget again. A year overseas in misery, a year together fighting, retreating inside myself. A year of pining…feeling empty. I still feel emptiness but J came & the last month alone brought clarity…pain and quiet alone, he helped me by breaking my heart again so I could feel a different pain and put it back together in it’s proper form. It was like I had broken it up so much it was patched with duck tape and I didn’t even know any better. I could never go back. Where would my life go? It’s over and done, I’m free. Today.
ps- I have a head/heartache though, and it won’t go away. I think it’s life.