Massive SLUG inches from my bed!!!!!!
I wondered why my cat was making such a racket in the middle of the night and reach out to feel the toy- a giant worm, a fat spliff of mucus…a salivating, antennaed monster!!! Aahhhhh, I am paying too much for this shared hole, no?
The gap under the front door two feet from my pillow is leering at me and I am dubious of sleep and the remaining slugs and spiders that await me in helpless slumber…but I’m sleepy shit.
…Case study, rather, on my cat. Yesterday she punched me in the nose. She literally swung her little arm back for greater momentum, and threw it claws splayed into my nose. I am lucky to be okay, as a broken or bloodied nose may have prompted me to throw her out the window.
Further captivating news: Today, when cleaning up my room, I discovered a recently shrunk sweater I’m going to use to amuse myself and pad the kitty’s sharp protruding parts…she is still nosing in on my underwear drawer, I think she thinks there is something of importance in there, such as the feather head band, but since it serves no purpose to her that I would like to see carried forth then I will have to, along with the perpetual removal of the drain from the tub, squelch these bad habits before they persist to make a bad kitty develop into a bad cat…Also lately there have been little inconspicuous bugs occasionally meandering in whimsical flight around the house, and being as small and diminutive as they are, the cat cannot help but look like a drunk charlatan stumbling from a bar; a silly sot with tongue sticking out like a mini-twizzler, when she is caught in pursuit of one aforementioned hymenopterous insecta.
Last bit of news: She still gallops like a stallion across the room as if suffering from an acute case of mammal species crise d’identité; but propitiously she has declined jumping on my jeans the the past two days when I am primping or brushing my teeth. This is a sign of intelligence and brings promise to an otherwise questionable feline…and her chirping is adorable.