The Way It Is

I am 26, going to school in architecture and photo, and working at the mac computer store. I yelled at a coworker today. No, I snapped back at him after he snapped at me. Ben, he is a mean scarecrow. And he said “you’re going to have to learn how to do your job so everyone else doesn’t have to do it for you”. I guess since he is known for being rude most of the time most people take it with a grain of salt but I was miffed, because it wasn’t in line at all. Truth was that I needed a manager override on an SO and I had no way of knowing, and I had to go back and ask for his help three or four times while the customer waited impatiently and he stuck his thumb up his ass. And unlike some people I know I wasn’t born in a computer so I am still learning things…So in the end, I went to the back office and told him that what he said was inappropriate and glared in his face, and he actually apologized while boss Dan watched, and it was pretty damn cool…bossman came up and basically congratulated me after.

But about me. I love the color blue but have been really into green this past year and red this past month and a half. I never thought about being an architect until last fall and I randomly started taking classes and realized I love it and we’ll see what happens, because I am awful at calculous and physics, though I’m a wiz with algebra and biology….I prefer art, to do and study. Dali and Durer, Velasquez, man Ray, Loretta lux. Magritte, Rodin. Lately mark ryden. Musicians like Bach, m83, caribou, Sigur ros, portishead, she&him. I love music, especially the weird otherworldly stuff.

I love movies I relate to, and try to watch things with protagonists going through similar predicaments and realizations as myself, maybe it’s my ego’s influence. I also love erotic movies, but artsy ones, like this sadomasochistic Japanese film from the 30’s which I can’t remember the name of, but that ends with the lady choking the man to death during sex, and I also like Secretary and Short Bus a lot, but I’m not a freak, and I think Hentai is lame, and beastiality is creepy.

I think the words used to describe me in a negative manner by most exes have been “creepy”, “jealous”, “insecure”, “crazy”. I’m proud that most of these are very common name calls from men to women, and even vice versa, so I probably don’t have anything wrong with me, at least that isn’t a little endearing. In truth I think most guys just couldn’t handle me because I was too amazing, and they were scared of falling too deeply in love and never finding themselves again within my amazing world, but again that’s my ego talking, and probably not all true either. As you can see, I’m a little wishy washy with my opinions sometimes, like yeah I’m amazing, or no I’m not really, I’m a fool. I just don’t necessarily understand or obviously believe in any absolutes. I like some meat, but prefer more vegetarian living. I like looking sharp, but also messy to make the sharp moments sharper. I am spiritual but not dogmatic…

Words like “thither” and “nincompoop”, “rambunctious”, and “henceforth”, well, they make me giddy.

I love Proust, Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson, Yeats, e.e. cummings, walt Whitman, Rilke, Dickens, Dostoevsky, Murakami, F. Scott Fitzgerald.

I love dirty dancing, overboard, delicatessen, when harry met sally.

I absolutely hate hate hate the girl upstairs moaning right now during sex. I especially hate her because I am single. Stupid bitch. Wait a minute wait a minute, I actually think she’s crying now. What is going on? I don’t feel hate, now I’m just a little confused and even touched. I think. Hell, I don’t know.

This too shall pass, otherwise, my life is over as I know it. But I will never ever resort to a new date per second via internet dating sites like one coworker I know, and no, his new playmate it NOT a real “sexy” redhead, that is hogwash, and he knows it. And yes, my new red shoes are hot, I don’t care if they are cloggish.

I think she was actually coughing…

My web photos can be found at http://www.flickr.com/photos/cloudypiano

Links to me:

Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/people/cloudypiano/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/claudiaconstance
JPG: http://www.jpgmag.com/people/cloudee
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/cloudeegirl
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/emeraldgorp

Links I Like:
Andy’s Blog of Dreams: http://andyoyellow.wordpress.com/
Kirsten’s Blogosphere http://kirstenblogshere.blogspot.com/
Dan’s TimePuzzles Page http://timepuzzles.blogspot.com/
Cherry Blossom Girl: http://www.thecherryblossomgirl.com/
Stumble Upon: http://www.stumbleupon.com
Internet Movie Database: http://www.imdb.com/
Rotten Tomatoes: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/
Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/
The Onion: http://www.theonion.com/content/index
Colbert Nation: http://www.colbertnation.com/home
The New Yorker: http://www.newyorker.com/
The New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/
The Faster Times: http://thefastertimes.com/
The Oatmeal: http://theoatmeal.com/

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