Financial Aid Abides

I am not sure recent circumstance, rumor, or my own introversion would allow it ( not to mention the full throttle thrust into more schooling I completed today in the fog city) but with the following old professor’s email in mind…what would I immediately wondered, what would Jane Austen do??

The email fromaforementioned strictly platonic but soon to be divorced and passionate male professor of arts and lit:

“Claudia, I have had a wild idea. It is only an experimental thought. Just let me field it: Why not stay here rent free until you slowly get off your feet in Manhattan? Your return favor: You are my literary secretary, trying to find me a literary agent, researching journals for my essays & poems etc. and it will be, platonic. I watched for fifteen years a guy do this for Ginsberg. I interviewed through a literary agent for Ben Posset, founder of Grove Press, but his wife ruined it all by coming on to me in front of him during the interview. I’ve thought this over quite deeply. My character flaw as an author/teacher/musicain is that I do not wish to promote myself directly, it embarrasses me. The rules would be: first: we are good to each other, and there are no lies — pets — and we both promote each other’s agendas. We do not have lovers around, if we find them or they find us — they don’t sleep here, action is all off set, out of this apartment. We listen to great music, and plan to be out of the apartment as much as possible to give each other privacy, down-time. We hang out with Lenny. I try to network for you as well but will have to do it between a very heavy teaching load, and a grading avalanche beginning in mid-October. We listen to each other’s problems but we move forward in a real dedication to literature. I will be reading all the time — my mind will be “rented” — since to get out of Eugene the year after next I had to be polite and take yet another class from a very sick faculty member, who may or may not return. Let’s hope he does. I am not looking to you as “rebound” replacement, in fact, I want to go celibate for a spell, don’t worry. We can have fun, yes, but you have to pay for your own food, wine, phone, etc. and it has to be an absolute secret given I am going to have go through a divorce and skeptics will not believe it’s Platonic even when it is. But you could really dive into the literary scene — I mean the real one is here in the United States — and help get me published and do readings. Maybe the backlog of writing will work and you will be helped by helping me, tremendously. You would take with you an absolute minimum of stuff, and I will unload extra books. (I already live rather Zen) We would have to be really kind, respectful and honest. This is only a thought, but I have been thinking about it, deeply … I send this in strict confidentiality but quickly before you become deeply tied to Berkeley.”

…ok me here again. It is my immediate, beer-drowned opinion to go to the Big Apple as a guest for a visit possibly around thanksgiving if financial aid abides it but meanwhile to continue the fog city/bezerkely venture an forego wonder boy/super sad true love story-type drama for as long ad possible. Another foreign unwritten contract and non-pets, zen agreement does bit sound wholly fruitful and satisfactory to me. What do you think?

All recent drama and gossip and transitional upheavel aside the foundational concern might just be: literature or photography? That’s so black and white though. There are all
The accessories to be considered and they can never be ignored in the construction of a person, can they? I think this calls for a movie.


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