Remnants of my note jottings from the past week…observations from a seasonal loner

Notes start from watching a documentary on the South Pole to visiting Adam in Eugene, to are short drive around the central and northern Oregon coast, fireworks on train tracks behind Astoria’s Safeway, to Portland again and Joan Rivers documentary, and a book on love he gives me, the irony and the expert delusion; circling around, and feeling utterly lonely…and within that time Adam did drive out on me and I did have insomnia, and the summer has turned out to be sweaty hot, and I really need to shave my legs, and probably no country fair this year, but anyway, the notes:

Borderline intelligence at the single cell level.

Going down into the cathedral …diving in the ocean

Deranged/disoriented penguin headed toward certain death

Lava lake keep an eye out misty day bad

His and her sinks
…..
Eating potato chips on an unbearably silent night train

Teenage girls who give you a look like they want to vomit and conversations in forever 21

Intercom cutting in and out on train like station agent is cussing and edited for primetime TV “and once again ladies and (fat fucking bastards)….now were having are final (look at you good for nothing pieces of shit)…good evening (I hope I never see you again motherfuckers!)”

The angry train food guy….

Mans wildness is it stripped way over time like petals from flower or buried like layers of a cake

Joan rivers cruelty in comedy
Beautys importance the joke about a man sticks his hand up your skirt he’s not looking for a library card.

Love Adam why sudden need to move do I want the best for myself a shake up and what would make me stay

People one unity by conforming with favorites and hobbies rather than unity of spirit

Enlightenment philosophy l’ame n’a pas de sexe or rather the soul has no sex polarity of the sexes disappearing with erotic love same not equals…Hunan atoms to function in a mass aggregation w/o friction….standardization routine escapist symptoms…conformity pattern

Note nite last talk: aging with emotions reignite in a fervor immaturity to catch up with intelligence mentally formed thru escapist acts like drugs alc and compulsive addictions

Need to overcome separateness with love fusion with another person the most fundamental passion of man

Mature love is union while preserving individuality and personal integrity

To work hard from loneliness or greed is to be slave to a passion not an actor but a passive succumber
……

Love is the active concern for the life and the growth of that which we love

Love: care, responsibility and respect

Respect to see and allow to unfold as he is

L’amour est l’enfant de la liberte love is the child of freedom

How much is Adam a loner or a liar? I don’t know….
…..
Portland grieves in it’s aloneness.

A sweat and blinding sun day. A man is yelling at food stands “maybe you’re not a piece of shit everyone I’ve talked to is a piece of shit I just got out two hours go I was incarcerated and need money. Are you going to be a piece of shit?”
…..

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