hmph, at these times I want to curl up in a ball and act like the little girl that is still very much alive inside me… i’m not sure what my problem is but maybe it revolves around letting go. I just need to let things be. Like if someone says something and does the other, that’s what most people do and so let it go, I really can’t judge the why or what of it, I can only control myself only and how miserable or happy I am in response to something. And if Im confused then if there is no response I am best to forget and move on to something where giving energy is actually a positive. I’m probably preaching generalities, but they are things I lose track of, and when I’m blue it’s hard to be sensible and see the transience of a given situation. Instead I hear the clock tick-tocking in my skull, and my heart cramps and I feel claustrophobic from life, and terribly alone. But I’m not and life is giant, and I’m not ninety yet!